Ayn Sof

Prof tells me to "go have fun" after a competition — I take a nap

Fri, 02 Nov 2012 21:57:17 -0400

My mother on turning 60 in April: “I’ve had a weird life, but I did everything I wanted...

Fri, 26 Oct 2012 16:07:00 -0400

My mother on turning 60 in April: “I’ve had a weird life, but I did everything I wanted to do, and I don’t have any regrets. There might be some stuff I should regret… Oh well. I’ve done everything but kill and steal… Probably. I think I had somebody killed once, but I didn’t do the killing… It’s ok—God forgives you for your sins.”

My mother on not looking 60: “When I look in the mirror I do see a 60 year old woman. I have all these wrinkles, but I earned them from drinking and drugs. A woman came in the office a few days ago only 54 and donnette asked if she’d be retiring soon. ‘I’m only 54!’ she said. I guess it’s cause men still flirt with me. I know that’s bad…”

‘I feel like I’m driving to Mab’s rather than away from mine. That seems okay. Sure you can merge...

Sun, 21 Oct 2012 00:59:00 -0400

‘I feel like I’m driving to Mab’s rather than away from mine. That seems okay. Sure you can merge with me, I don’t mind. Would I feel any different if this were a different decade?’ Suddenly every car on the road was brand new and from the 90s. Bill Clinton was the president, and most people didn’t have cell phones. Everyone was dressed in clothes that could have only been made in the 90s and there were no nods or homages to past decades. All the drivers watched Saved by the Bell and recognized every song on the radio which only played 90s music because it’s the 90s. Everyone was in the now including Pocahontas who was craving juice and feeling the same as before. ‘Yeah I would feel the same.’

Photo

Sun, 12 Aug 2012 10:03:01 -0400

Video

Tue, 07 Aug 2012 02:22:36 -0400

Video

Wed, 04 Jul 2012 22:43:39 -0400

"I just can’t wait to be king!"

Wed, 04 Jul 2012 03:49:16 -0400

“I just can’t wait to be king!”

- Hermoine Weasley

Hipster Poem 4

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 19:12:00 -0400

As the night tiptoes in
Through my bedroom window
I can’t help but feel disgust
I hated good night moon

Hipster Poem 3

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 19:11:56 -0400

I heard washing machines give out orgasms
I wasted too many hours
Of my life
Not coming
To believe that

Hipster Poem 2

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 19:11:00 -0400

I asked Andrew if we could poop at the same time
He wouldn’t let me
We were afraid of the logistics
What if he finished before I did?

Hipster Poem 1

Sun, 01 Jul 2012 19:10:01 -0400

Green means go
So I fucked my lawn today
I came red
So I stopped

Hipster Poetry

Fri, 29 Jun 2012 17:21:26 -0400

me
got an interview

Matt
oooooo
where at

me
sonny's bbq
super redneck
as I was leaving the parking lot a guy wearing that pug in a soldier outfit shirt that hipster was walking to his car
he wasn't being ironic
that hipsters wear*

Matt
lol
he is the ultimate in irony

me
yup
unknowingly wearing a sarcastic shirt
sincerely

Matt
what a hipster asshat
making hipster unironic
sincerity is the cancer of the peopel

me
you know
there's a new hipster lit movement
that isn't new
called new sincerity

Matt
being ironicly unironic

me
we've come full circle
but you know
the cool thing is to pepper your sincerity with surrealism so that you're also making a mockery of your true feelings
like this poem I haven't written yet
that I will write right now to you
Matt blackman makes me happy
but only a little bit
but I can't really be happy around him
because
I hate unicorns

Matt
habberdash and a hat saw angle grinder fries

me
is that a mad gab or are you retarded
fucking unicorns

Matt
they are scarry

Lady Daydream: Getting rid of my books is the hardest thing ever. I’m only keeping...

Sun, 24 Jun 2012 18:05:29 -0400

Lady Daydream: Getting rid of my books is the hardest thing ever. I’m only keeping...:

vinurminn:

Getting rid of my books is the hardest thing ever. I’m only keeping the ones I really, truly love. I’m also getting rid of a lot of my clothes, but I honestly don’t wear half of them/can’t fit in them, so it’s not a problem. It’s just crazy how much stuff I’ve accumulated since I started college….

I’ll take books off your hands. i love books

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Sun, 10 Jun 2012 02:34:50 -0400

Photo

Tue, 29 May 2012 18:53:08 -0400

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Sat, 12 May 2012 22:51:50 -0400

Audio

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 20:40:00 -0500

Video

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 01:16:45 -0500

miranda july’s short stories are terrifying, funny, and depressing.

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 18:50:02 -0500

miranda july’s short stories are terrifying, funny, and depressing.

i should be smoking weed

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 04:20:57 -0500

but noooo i gotta do german